Once upon all the time, something challenging happens, followed by something amazing...




Sunday, January 31, 2010

Butterfly Wisdom

One of my favorite sayings is:
" Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."- proverb


I've been seeing a lot of butterflies lately, and think I feel compelled to them because I can relate what it's like to go through a metamorphosis. They remind me the dark period in a cocoon is a necessary part of the process of creating beautiful new freedom. There are many meanings associated with these "flying flowers." In ancient Greek the word for butterfly is "Psyche", which translated means "soul" or "breath". This was also the name for Eros' human lover, (Eros is today known as Cupid), and when the two figures are depicted they are often surrounded by butterflies. In one of the Russian dialects, butterflies are referred to as "dushuchka" which is a derivative of the word "dusha" also meaning soul. There is also an Irish saying: "Butterflies are souls of the dead waiting to pass through purgatory".  In Cambodia I saw the most beautiful butterflies at the place where many had died during the regime, and it made me feel like they did represent the souls of those lost in some way.  They were flying hope and life through a very dreary landscape. I captured one that sat still while I got up close and took a picture, (below), and then flew over to my nose and gave me an actual butterfly kiss.  It was one of the most amazing moments!!!


  Tonight we stumbled upon a restaurant after walking around the casino, and wouldn't ya know, butterflies, on the walls, the plates, the doors, even the exact picture I have in my room.  Synchronicities are messages, signs that you're on the right path, reminders, encouragements... the soul has eyes that can show you so much if you chose to see. 





                               If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown





There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. ~Richard Buckminster Fuller

The fluttering of a butterfly's wings can effect climate changes on the other side of the planet. ~Paul Erlich

We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever. ~Carl Sagan

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. ~Maya Angelou





Daily Silver Lining:

"As though you were born, And so you thought, The future's ours to keep and hold, A child within, Has healing ways, It sees me through, My darkest days, I'm gonna keep catching that butterfly, In that dream of mine, I'm gonna keep catching that butterfly, In that dream of mine."- Catching the Butterfly by The Verve

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Do Not Ask

Woke up early this morning with lots of those don't ask questions that usually keep me up.  You know the: What am I doing? What do I want? How did I end up here? Is this all a waste of time? Will it ever end????  Now the last one I do know the answer to, and that is, no, no it will never end.  I was thinking to myself, why do I even ask these answer-less questions, when they make my smiley face turn to a hmmmm face.

Funny how moments literally change your life.  Our DNA is actually scientifically proven to be altered by our thoughts and feelings, so each moment is actually changing your entire life.  Every time you ask a question like that, which is basically a doubt, you encode it into your DNA.  So my new theory is that DNA is telling me... D.o N.ot A.sk, but instead, D.evelop N.ew A.nswers.  Rather than the woulda, coulda, shoulda, I'm gonna focus on the did, do, done!!!  I'm gonna wake up thinking, "Wow, you had a blast in Asia", "Thanks for that great workout", "This new project you're working on is coming along better than I hoped", "Gee, way to really stay on top of your blog"!!!  So thanks DNA, for helping me figure out how to alter you to my advantage : )

Today's Silver Lining:

"Fish in the sea you know how I feel, River running free you know how I feel, Blossom in the trees you know how I feel, It's a new dawn, It's a new day, It's a new life, For me, And I'm feeling good" - Feeling Good by Muse

Friday, January 29, 2010

How You Know

I was thinking tonight about being younger and trying to fit in with everyone else. Trying to figure out where I belong.  Many things in my life have seemed like a struggle to make happen.   I always wondered how I would know when I was doing what I was supposed to be doing... and as I looked around at my butterfly trunk, letters of LOVE, pictures from India and color coordinated books, I realized I am.  Whenever I am doing what I truly connect with I feel good. It suddenly seemed quite simple to know, because I just knew.  I knew because I don't know, but I feel right and good and safe and happy.  I feel like me. I'm not trying to fit in or catch up, I'm already here.  There's nothing else to define me, people, a job, a relationship... and I'm still here.  I guess people are right, when you know, you know!

Today's Silver Lining:

"Oh I do believe, In all the things you see, What comes is better than what came before, And you'd better come come, come come to me, Better come come, come come to me, Better run, run run, run run to me, Better come."- Found a Reason by Cat Power

Things that make ya go hmmmm

Things we hear about:

*Texting  a code from your car with your $5 Starbucks in your hand that gives $10 to Haiti is going to make you a hero, you should tell everyone on facebook so they can see how much charity you do

*Rich celebrities flying to nice places and singing songs in productions that use alot of resources to put on, make them heroes

*We're saving the planet with Hybrid cars

*Swine Flu is deadly

*New Vaccines for the Swine Flu are here to save us

Things we DON'T hear about, (unless we look for it):

*John Travolta flew his plane with medics and supplies to Haiti

*Most of the money sent to corporations will help to fund them

*A seldom discussed alternative to hybrid-powered vehicles: walking

*The average # of people that die from the regular flu each year according to the CDC: approx 36,000
  The average # of people that die from the swine flue each year according to the CDC: ? they told the states to stop counting, but in the months before then it was in the hundreds, less than the amount that die in 10 days from the regular flu

*225,000 deaths due to what are known as iatrogenic causes (ie. mistakes in hospitals/doctors...106,000 of those deaths occur each year due to adverse effects to properly prescribed medications.) This would place them as the 3rd leading cause of death - just above cerebrovascular diseases at 137,119 deaths.

Things to remember:



*We have been surviving on our natural instincts for thousands of years
 
*Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it
 
 
MOST IMPORTANT:
 
* I just put these things out there to create awareness, not fear.  Rather than trying to fight the system, lets just support all the good things that surround us... ourselves, each other, locally owned businesses and good ole mother nature : )

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My Happy Place


Whenever I feel blah, I go to see the lights that spin with the horses... I always leave inspired.  It's the simple things.

More from Today's Silver Lining

The song that inspired me today was too insightful to just pick a few lines from, so I had to post the whole thing... and if you get the chance to listen to it, here's the link: ) 


And I've come to know the wish list of my father
I've come to know the shipwrecks where he wished
I've come to wish aloud
Among the over-dressed crowd
Come to witness now the sinking of the ship
Throwing pennies from the sea top next to it

And I’ve come to roam the forest past the village
With a dozen lazy horses in my cart
I’ve come here to get high
To do more than just get by
I’ve come to test the timber of my heart
Oh I’ve come to test the timber of my heart

And I’ve come
To be untroubled in my seeking
And I’ve come
To see that nothing is for naught
I’ve come to reach out blind
To reach forward and behind
For the more I seek the more I'm sought
Yeah the more I seek the more I'm sought

And I’ve come to meet the Sherriff and his posse
To offer him the broad side of my jaw
I’ve come here to get broke
Then maybe bum a smoke
We’ll go drinking two towns over after all
Oh we'll go drinking two towns over after all

And I’ve come to meet the legendary takers
I’ve only come to ask them for a lot
Oh they say I come with less
Than I should rightfully possess
I say the more I buy the more I’m bought
And the more I’m bought the less i cost

And I’ve come
To take their servants and their surplus
And I’ve come
To take their raincoats and their speed
I’ve come to get my fill
To ransack and spill
I’ve come to take the harvest for the seed
I’ve come to take the harvest for the seed

And I’ve come to know the manger that you sleep in
I’ve come to be the stranger that you keep
I’ve come from down the road
And my footsteps never slowed
And before we met I knew we'd meet
Before we met I knew we'd meet

And I’ve come here to ignore your cries and heartaches
I’ve come to closely listen to you sing
I’ve come here to insist
That I leave here with a kiss
I’ve come to say exactly what I mean
And I mean so many things

And you've come
To know me stubborn as a butcher
And you've come
To know me thankless as a guest
Will you recognize my face
When God's awful grace
Strips me of my jacket and my vest
And reveals all the treasure in my chest

"Hymn 101" - Joe Pug

The Search for Meaning

I was reading an article in Enlighten Next Magazine about a man named Thomas Berry. He was described as a, “scholar, teacher and sage.” In the article it talked about his expansive studies of religions as well as their adaptive patterns to evolution. He spent many years really learning and understanding how religion aided in human evolution and the similar patterns in the different teachings. At one point it states, “Berry was profoundly aware of the deep alienation that had beset twentieth-century civilization, torn as it was by two world wars and confronted with an existential crisis of meaning. He recognized that religions and their larger spiritual visions have something of immense significance to offer humans in their struggle to manage the demands and tragedies that life presents.”



It's true, people need to have some solid belief, some source of hope and guidance, especially now amidst this ever-changing time.  The thing is, most religion is altered by what society needs to control at that time, so those clinging to strict rules from the past are having a tough time.  People are looking for something that they can cling to now.  You can’t miss all the ways people are trying to look for something they can understand to help them in this search for answers: from meditation, to new age books, to yoga, to Deepak Chopra… spirituality is the new trend. Religions are trying to be more “hip” and open to relate to the new time. More and more self help books are being written, and yoga shops are being opened. People are on a quest for the purpose of their existence, a bigger picture, or just something to help them get through this process.  So the new question is, is anyone finding the answer to the magic question of meaning?


I know I’ve been looking myself, I mean I went all the way to India and thought I found it… until I got back. Things were still the same, I had changed, but not all of my bad habits or selfish desires had. So, I left again to Asia, and again thought I’d rediscovered the truth and that this time I’d be able to live it… until I came back once again. To be honest is I’ve had many moments here since then where I feel this profound sense of knowing, a feeling that’s beyond my physical mind, something my soul shows me. I’ve tried to write it down, dance it to life, remember it, but it always seems to vanish as seamlessly as it came. I still know I’ve felt it, but I have no clue what it smells like or tastes like or sounds like… I did finally realize it’s not meant to be understood by the mind, just appreciated.


Life has become so much more complex, things are always changing, getting improved, faster, younger. There are so many new types of everything these days; clothes, drinks, ways to communicate, places to eat, places to go, ways to get there, prayers to get there safely. There are more and more choices being added to the list everyday, and I’ll be the first to say that choice is the enemy of freedom. We not only become slaves to our choices, but also to the choices of others. People devote their lives to changing the choices people make, fighting for their own, or regretting ones they’ve made. They call things right and wrong, good and bad, blessed or evil… these words are opinions, which are also choices.


In this time, where everyone is trying to find what they're looking for, we need something infinite, something that doesn’t change at the rapid rate the world is. Something that is beyond change, because it flows and evolves as it needs to. That something can be us… Not our mind or our body, but our light. The thing inside that makes us who we are, our truth.  If we can just follow that, we will always be able to see whatever we need.

The thing is, after all the searching I’ve done, the choices I've made, the beliefs I cycle through... I've found I'm grateful to be active in the search, because when you have no more questions, you no longer care.  And in someway, it is this endless search that keeps our eyes open and our souls active...So that even if we never find the meaning of life… we will always be our meaning in life.

Today's Silver Lining:

And I’ve come
To be untroubled in my seeking
And I’ve come
To see that nothing is for naught
I’ve come to reach out blind
To reach forward and behind
For the more I seek the more I'm sought
Yeah the more I seek the more I'm sought
-Hymn 101 by Joe Pug

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Just Another Day

We all have those days that are just another day. Where nothing much really happens, life seems to pass by unchanged. Any day could be one of those days... but any day could also be magic.



Not much happened today. I was up late again, so I slept late. Just hung around, didn't feel up to doing anything productive. And as the day turned to night and the night to midnight, I still had done nothing major. Then I watched a movie that reminded me that life isn't some type of plan or formula to follow, it is what you make of it. Anything goes.



It's not the things you wait for that end up creating your life, it's the moments you create in between. The Tuesday afternoon where you spontaneously grab drinks with friends and laugh all the way to Wednesday morning. The unexpected call you get at work when something bad happens, and having to change your plans. Laughing at yourself for slipping and falling while you try to slide across the floor in your socks. Getting lost on a road trip and finding the most charming little town. Those are the moments you remember, and those are the moments that create who you are.



Sometimes we put these expectations on ourselves of what we should and shouldn't do. We allow ourselves time for things that seem important... go here, do that, finish this. We set up a routine and if things aren’t on the list we count them out… But sometimes we need to give ourselves that time where we have a blank canvas to create something new. Where we are able to really go past the rules and definitions we've boxed ourselves into, and see ourselves more clearly, no matter what our situation. Where we take an ordinary afternoon and create moments that inspire us.



There is so such thing as a waste of time. Just another day can be the best day of your life if you take the time to see it for what it is, a bunch of hidden opportunities. And now as today is ending and I go to bed with a thank you and a smile, I remember, tomorrow's just another day.



Today's Silver Lining:
 
"What if they say that you're a cloner, Naturally, I'm worried if I do it alone
Who really cares, cause it's your life, You never know, it could be great
Take a chance cause you might grow, Oh, ah, oh
What you waiting, What you waiting, What you waiting, What you waiting, What you waiting for"- What you waiting for, Gwen Stefani

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Me, Myself and the fear of letting go

I have been staying up until morning, reading and talking with my roomy, so half of my day is now my night. The truth is I am still having a hard time with the fact that I have let go of LA and all the things I had there.  So instead of spending the days wandering alone and missing LA, I spend the nights watching movies and reading so nothing is open and I have an excuse to be alone.  I woke up and did what I could, but not what I had planned. Expectation is the enemy of freedom. I always have big plans, big hopes and dreams. I imagine these great things, but then have a hard time acting on them; partly due to loss of interest after dreaming them up. I try to see the silver linings in life and people. In life I try to allow change and go with the flow.  To be gratful for my life as it is, and not view it how others think it should be.  With people, I try to be open, even after multiple red flags, I assume people are good and mean well. Today I was proven wrong, but I was also shown the light.




I realized though, that sometimes you have to cut all ties and let go, which is something I have always struggled with. It's funny because I can honestly say there isn't one person I can think of that I've been friends with, dated or otherwise, that I have left on bad terms with regardless of what happened. I always try to fix up the past and try to make it fit in with the future. I saw this as I was moving in and had things from high school that I tried to find a way to paint or adjust so I could put them to use. My roommate said, “Just because you have it doesn’t mean you should use it, just get rid of it and get something new that matches.”



It’s true. Life is Change. It’s being able to see what sticks and what doesn’t. Knowing what works with you where you are now. And being able to be where you are now. As much as I try to see the bigger picture in life, and expand my consciousness, I still have those moments where I feel so lost and clueless. I cling to people or feelings from moments long gone. I am so affected by a few little words. Then after I cry for a bit and feel sorry for myself, I realize that it’s okay to not have it together all of the time. That although I still have these fear based feelings, I am now able to be grateful for them because I see the strength and love I create for myself to get through them.



There are people in my life who see me as smart, or a pushover, or a mystery, or so brave, or so weak, and so many other things in between... the truth is they’re all right. I am all of these things depending on what you inspire in me and how you percieve me based on what I inspire in you.  There are times I wish I could show certain people a different side of me, prove to them I’m more than what they see, but we are each placed in each others path for many different reasons. We are all there to be a certain character in everyone elses life, just as they are in ours.  We are only able to see a refection of something we each possess, and respond to what we are given in each moment.  We can't point the finger, we can only be responsible for how we act.  No matter what someone else has done to me, I always feel the need to hold myself accountable for anything I have done, and try to clear the air, even if it means I get hurt.  Knowing this, I am grateful for all the people who I have met along my path, regardless of the so called end result… Because nothing is really ever an ending, just and exchange of energy carried on through our journey.




Today’s Silver Lining:


"Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear. And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before and it seems to have a vague haunting mass appeal, but lately I'm beginning to see that I should be the one behind the wheel. Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, yeah. Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there."- Drive by Incubus

Monday, January 25, 2010

I'm in love!!

This Voluspa makassar ebony & peach candle is rocking my world and making me way more happy than any candle should ever make a person.... But wow, it smells like a dream come true!! This smell is a song for my nose and the silver lining of my entire week!!!!! 
If I could put it into lyrics, it's sliver lining would be:

"Keepin your eyes on that mountain top, one step at a time, don't never ever stop.  Keep on when your mind says quit, dream on til you find you're livin it, I'll be right by your side, yeah baby shine on.  Don't stop til you win your prize, lean on, on the love that's in my eyes. You're a diamond to me, yes you are, shine on!"  Shine On- by Eric Bibb

Friday, January 22, 2010

Some Triva from the Day

Today was the first sunny day of the week. Today is Friday.
Today I went on a spontaneous adventure.
Today I drove through breathtaking snowy mountains.
Today I explored uncharted terrain.
Then I went to the gym.
I watched The Proposal as a reward.
I liked it.
Now I'm starting yet another blog.
I have a good feeling about this one.

Silver Lining of the day:
"Yesterday and what we could be, it don't matter.  Getting more of what we don't need, it don't matter.  If it don't matter to you, it don't matter to me."  -Donavon Frankenreiter